Day 80 – March 21st

Had a lovely visit with Kathleen last night ( she helped polish off the remaining ravioli of National Ravioli Day ). While chatting, she explained to me that although March 20th is often referred to as the first day of spring, it’s actually meant to be considered the last day of darkness… and then the 21st is the first day of light. That was a much nicer way to perceive the day considering I spent it coping the best I could with an all consuming panic attack.

So today, National Fragrance Day & International Day of Forests, I was looking forward to leaving all the gunk of  yesterday behind me and shedding the dreariness and sorrow the winter had brought.

I had smelled this perfume @ anthropologie back in February at some time and thought it was lovely. I never wear perfumes, I’m mildly allergic and some people can be severely allergic, plus I’m lazy af and couldn’t be arsed.

But, being a new day new me new season kinda thing and seeing as how I wasn’t crippled with an anxiety attack,  I decided to head all the way to the anthropologie on South Granville with Duncan and treat myself.

(It smells like vanilla)

I had a little plant life photo shoot, a wee shout out to forests everywhere !

Just to beef up this otherwise lacklustre post, here’s a throwback to me with that really big tree in Arenal, Costa Rica that everyone gets a picture with taken more or less around this time last year

Day 79 – March 20th

Well what a  National Ravioli Day indeed

I had a prolonged panic attack that lasted most of the afternoon.

I did all the things:

Nothing really relieved anything.
My chest ached and I had waves of nausea, as well as the overwhelming sense of dread and alarm. I felt exhausted but amped up at the same time. I’ve had them a few times and it’s really fun stuff.

After lying down and trying to listen to a pod cast about hookworms, hoping to be distracted enough to over come it, and failing, I just decided I had better suck it up and  just go make the ravioli for National Ravioli Day before I died of heart failure.
I really had the thought, “Well if my heart just gives out now, I should die making ravioli and at least have the chance to get posthumously famous for being so committed to this blog and my niece and nephews will get to be rich and travel” (for the record, I did also have more rational thoughts of going to the hospital).

I had some fresh-frozen portobello mushroom stuffed ravioli in the freezer so all I needed was some sauce and parmesan. I made it to Whole Foods where I bought a fancy locally made vodka tomato rose sauce. I have never had that before and I thought I might as well try it.

When released from the jar, it looked a lot of like barf. When I was done photographing and had to actually eat it, I was super hesitant.



It actually tasted good. Great, even.
I ate the whole plate and went back for seconds.

As the food digested, my anxiety level started a decline.

Now I’m not saying portobello mushroom ravioli with tomato vodka rose sauce cures panic attacks, but I’m not not saying it either.