Yeah yeah yeah
National Lemonade Day
Y’all thought I would be lip-synching to Beyonce
Instead I made Christina juice me some fresh lemons
That’s right, real, authentic, pure lemonade, today, bitches
Lemon is super detoxifying and we all needed it after being gas poisoned
Yes, I said ‘gas poisoned’
The eve of National Lemonade Day, we (myself, James, Christina and Duncan) noted a slight, strange smell, but mostly felt drained, which we chocked up to having binged on the news coverage of my recently brutally murdered friends , as it was, well, quite draining.
We went to bed early but were awoken in the middle of the night to aggressive banging on our door.
It was our beloved landlord Mark, saying that other tenants had complained of the smell of gas.
Christina responded with a string of incoherent sentences about BC hydro.
Mark said to wake the rest of us up
Christina responded with a string of incoherent sentences about not doing that.
We eventually evacuated and waited for the gas company to come investigate. We had to loiter outside with all the other tenants.
They, of course, thanks to CTV and Global TV’s ruthless investigatory journalism, knew all about The Pickle and had all kinds of questions about it. James could do nothing but grunt. I don’t really know what I said.
Turns out one of our elements was slightly ajar.
Turns out it was only 11:30, not the middle of the night (I had only been asleep a matter of minutes- out cold because of fumes)
Turns out we were well on our way to carbon monoxide poisoning
Turns out we nearly killed our whole building.
We realized all this the morning after.
Which was National Lemonade Day.
We had no idea what was on the go the night of.
So down the hatch with fresh squeezed lemons and here’s to being extra cautious around gas knobs.