Holy fuck bys
What a National I Forgot Day indeed
Wasn’t planned at all
Went out to flip The Pickle for the next guest and put up these new darling pieces I made
I took The Pickle keys, neglecting to take the apartment keys.
No keys. No wallet. No phone. No room mate. No Duncan. Nothing.
I buzzed all the neighbours that I tried to gas poison last month
No one was home.
I sat and waited.
I checked all the windows. Little Duncan perched on the couch looking out at me
I decided to walk to Kathleen’s coffee shop because I sorta know most of the staff and they have a phone and a computer.
Kathleen was still there too so it was really easy.
I looked up the landlord’s number in my email. Called him. He answered. – said no problem, see you in 10 minutes.
Which I did.
It was almost too easy.
I had visions of just never getting in my apartment again.
Of a little Duncan skeleton waiting for me on the couch whenever I got back in again.
Of living in The Pickle and having to wear the shorts and tank top I had on for the rest of my life.
The whole ordeal was over in under 20 minutes
All’s well that ends well.
Then I went to get some beer to destress before meeting up with my work friends for Jazz Fest and found an unconscious body.
Tried to wake her. Checked breathing. Checked pulse. Pinched, yelled, clapped and (gently) shook to no response.
Waited for ambulance.
Then went to beach with beer
It was warm by then though.
Not easy being a hero.