Day 69 – March 10th

March 10th was National  Blueberry PopOver Day

I was very tired this day – all the sadness of losing Melvin and drama of being landlord to a psycho, added to the time spent with my uber energetic twin nephews and multiplied by jet lag and alcohol consumption equated a bit of exhaustion.

I bought these things at the nearest grocery store

I thought they were pop overs but apparently they aren’t.

Popovers are airy rolls that puff up when baked, popping over the edge of the tin.

Oh well, close enough

They weren’t very good, for the record

 

Day 68 – March 9th

This was National Name Tag Day as well as National Get Over It Day!!

I tried to buy some name tags this day but Walmart didn’t have any and I was so annoyed by my whole ordeal I decided to just make my own.

Herman was a very willing and eager model… though he’s not an ambi-turner

I have no idea why Name Tag Day is a thing but Herman and I had a great time nevertheless.

The saga of our Prostitenant continued on today. She actually had the audacity to contact us and tell us to put a framed photo she left behind in a bag outside in the morning for her. She didn’t ask, she told us to. After the way she spoke to me back on the 1st. Nine whole days after her vacating our house. For the record, we have no legal obligation whatsoever to return anything left behind.

So James and I crafted a text that, although we knew would have no effect on her because of her raging narcissistic personality, allowed us to voice some of our grievances with her both as a tenant and as a human being.

It went like this:

Hi K,

This is why an official walk through is mutually beneficial to both parties.

I really didn’t appreciate being hounded for a damage deposit at my father’s wake last week. Landlords have 15 days to return damage deposits in NL.

I have reacted promptly to every issue that arose during your tenancy. I overlooked rent being late at least twice. We let you move in early and let you stay an extra day (should have been vacated Feb 28) even after you broke lease, without asking anything in return. You were not out on the morning of Mar 1 as you assured us you would be, which is what we arranged our limited time on that day around. 

Our house was not left in the condition we rented it to you (unclean, rip in living room sofa, long dent and scrape all along bedroom wall, multiple holes in upper hallway wall and living room, missing back door keys, the list could go on). A lesson hard learned on our end.

Your photo, along with all your other belongings that were left behind, were put outside today in the am in a recycling bag.

There is no need to respond. 

And with that we put everything she had left in our house (an entire blue recycling bag full of things)  out on our step (even though we have no obligation to return it, store it etc) and blocked her number from both our phones and Get Over it Day was celebrated. We hope to “get over” this nightmarish chapter of our lives!

PS
I got to spend the day with the twins again – we went to some children’s programming at the provincial art gallery, lunch and swimming!

I got to see my old buddy and coworker Jason (Hi Jason!) and he gave me a sweet calendar a local artist, Anita Singh, made that lists all the holidays!

Day 67 – March 8th

March 8th of 2017 was designated Nation Registered Dietitian Nutritionist Day & Peanut Cluster Day.

This was relatively easy to celebrate- my little sister, Claire, is one of those!
(A Registered Dietitian Nutritionist, not a Peanut Cluster)

I had the great idea to ‘pay her back’ for the surprise package I had received on National Cereal Day from her with a bouquet of flowers or the like.

But when I went to look up florists in the where she lives, I got to thinking it would be way more fun to send her a pizza and beer and other junk food, for obvious reasons.

One of my really good friends, Craig, lives in the same town as my sister. When I got in touch to ask for his help,  he was more than willing. He even suggested getting a balloon and a card.

I also got it touch with Claire’s room mate to find out when she would be home and to help coordinate.

8 pm seemed like a safe time frame for Craig to come by with the surprise as far as the room mate knew

It didn’t quite work out time wise- Craig spent a lot of time in his car waiting and taking selfies.

But when he did get in her house and Claire came home, it all went better than anticipated.

Craig had a great set up

Wrote a great card

The pizza looked delicious – vegetarian !

He even scored this amazing banana /nutritionist themed balloon…

AND PEANUT CLUSTERS FOR PEANUT CLUSTER DAY!!

A video of her surprise can be seen here : IMG_6206

Happy Registered  Nutritionist Dietician Day Claire! Thanks Craig!

 

 

Day 66 – March 7th

National Cereal Day.

Cereal was a staple when I was a kid.
I remember pretty much living off the stuff.
I was particularly fond of Mini Wheats, Froot Loops, Hidden Treasures, Rice Krispies ‘Treats’ Edition and, later in my teens, Vector.
I really only remember eating cereal.
All the time.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner. And snacks.
It’s insane to think about it.

I can’t even really bring myself to look at the stuff now.

This particular Cereal Day started out  like any other, with a brief begging of Herman to let me hold him in my arms like his baby brother Duncan.
This fell on deaf ears, despite Herman’s fully capacity to hear, unlike his brother Duncan.

Next I got to spend some time with my twin nephews, Sarah’s children, Grant & Ellis.

They told me all about their new Nerf guns and the rules (not shooting where the arrow will get lost, no shooting at things that will break and no shooting at people).

They played with a train set and we must have read about 20 books.

Here’s a photo Ellis took of Grant:

So talented.

Their sister Rowan is in Kindergarten, so I will have to wait for the weekend to see her.

I had lunch with a friend (Hi Hillary!) and then went to Fixed coffee shop on Duckworth, where I furiously typed out the entire history of Prostitenant.

Albeit a cathartic experience, it was exhausting. I ended up doing nothing other than going to see Logan and forgetting to ‘celebrate’ cereal completely.

When we got home from the movie there was a package from my little sister on my porch.

I looked inside and discovered THREE BOXES OF RICE KRISPIES TREATS CEREAL! It was magical – EXACTLY at the moment I realized I had spent nearly an entire day writing about whore-ible tenants instead of ‘celebrating’, I was blessed with a whack of cereal. It was like a sign from the cosmos!

Thanks Alive Sister Claire! You saved the day!!

It tasted to exactly as I remembered it!

 

 

Day 65 – March 6th

National Oreo Cookie Day was the first day back in our real home after the Prostitenent vacated it (having spent our time since National Pig Day in Dunville, Melvin’s hometown and where all the services for him were held).

It was a bloody, fucking state.

No one in their right minds would have given her back her damage deposit in full. Lucky for her, we were not in our right minds. Well played, sociopathic hooker, well played.

A brief rundown of what we could have and should have deducted:

  • The extra day – she should have been out Feb 28, not March  1 at 3:38pm
  • Cleaning – baseboards and mouldings were filthy, toilet uncleaned, surfaces, floors, windows, oven was untouched.
  • Melted candle wax all over mantle and mirror
  • Tear in Ralph Lauren sofa
  • Holes in living room wall and upper hallway wall
  • Major long dent and paint chipping in bedroom – whole wall needs to be repainted
  • Towels and linens are now all orange, presumably from spray tan
  • Front door needs to be repainted because of wreath hook she stuck on
  • Broken irreplaceable vintage lamps
  • Paint damage to spindles
  • Missing back door key – lock now needs to be replaced considering the nature of her profession and the company kept
  • Throw cushions from couch left on lawn furniture all fall and winter
  • Coffee maker pot smashed
  • Dog shit all over backyard

Left behind, in the house she insisted was immaculate and thoroughly gone through, were:

  • a CK duffle bag full of raunchy bikinis and tacky purses
  • a new with tags Aldo clutch still in it’s cellophane
  • a bag of plastic nozzle thingies (?) presumably for her make up business
  • a framed professional photo of her grandparents house with an inscription on the back from her parents (she will be in touch about this – bet my life on it)
  • a souvenir carved wooden mask…with glitter
  • lawn chair
  • condoms (stored in lounge) {just grateful she’s not procreating}
    N.B :
    The Prostitenant also ‘returned’ additional cut copies of the key to the front door which operates on a 4 digit code. She was fanatical about changing the code when she moved in but never did and also never learnt it (further explanation here) .
    This is a person too damn stupid to memorize 4 number code and would rather drive to a lock smith and pay the 3$ to get a key cut instead to give to her pimp/boyfriend (or call me 11 times in the middle of the night for it  ).

I went for lunch with my friend Allyson and vented non stop about how bullied I felt and weak I feel for letting her treat us the way she did.
I should never have answered the phone and left it at “Landlords have 15 days to return damage deposits – we are at a wake -have some respect” and turned both our phones off.

There is nothing that can be done about the past… if there was, I sure as hell wouldn’t  waste the opportunity to time travel on her.

Back to Oreos.

Allyson graciously drove me to a store to buy Oreos and bleach to disinfect every square inch of our whore house.  I bought Double Stuff and Extra Strength, respectively. Thanks Allyson!

When I got home at probably close to 4 pm, Herman was still in bed. This was no surprise.

I was panged with guilt for all the times Duncan was able to reap the benefits of my celebratory projects and Herman was left behind in Newfoundland, neglected.

 

So I gave the poor old fellow an Oreo. Happy Oreo Day, Hermie, hope it doesn’t kill you!

I also made an Inukshuk

And ate a couple myself, while dressed a lot like an Oreo

And then did my usual staging

I consider this a day well celebrated indeed.

 

 

 

Day 62 1/2 – March 4

March 4th is Marching Music Day, National Grammar Day, & National Pound Cake Day.

However,  I misread my holiday source page and thought the day was International Irish Whiskey Day, which turns out to be March 3rd in actuality. Unfortunately  I put all energy and limited time that I had this day to getting some Irish Whiskey and not into any of the other options.

So I am going to consider this a ‘cheat day’, as they call it in the fitness business, and just go with it.

This was the day of Melvin’s funeral and burial.

We donned Boston Bruin pins for the ceremony and powered through the brutally cold and windy day.

After the reception, we went back to Melvin’s house- it was time to ‘celebrate’.

Jameson Irish Whiskey is as good as any so that’s what we picked up

I’m not one for drinking liquor straight, but made an attempt on the rocks.

James drinks it neat on the regular

Ellie, Melvin’s sister, joined in on the libation celebration.
She did, however, miscalculate how much was left in the bottle and ‘flattened it’. She had the genius idea of using some ginger ale to dilute it down.

 

Cheers to Melvin, you were dearly loved and are deeply missed.

 

Day 62- March 3

Day Number 62 of ‘celebrating everyday literally’ & Day Number 2 of my father in law Melvin’s wake.

James had kept me in the loop with medical updates and everyone’s spirits over the past two months. I knew Melvin’s health was declining quickly, but on some level I still held the hope that something might turn around – our family couldn’t possibly be this unlucky. If you don’t have hope, you don’t have anything.

Nevertheless, part of me knew when I said goodbye to Melvin in January to head back to Vancouver for school, it would be the last time I saw him.

Seeing Melvin’s urn and the little shrine composed of his favourite sweater, tea cup and a smiling photo made his death ‘all too real’ as they say.

Even harder than processing my own grief surrounding Melvin’s death, was having to watch his daughters in such pain and not being able to do a god. damn. single. thing. about. it. How deeply I wish I could take it from them, it was overwhelming.

Apart from all the pain and tears and suffering it was

NATIONAL TARTAR SAUCE DAY ! ! !

(Is this Kermit gif being overused? I don’t even care because I have no idea how to segue from the heart ache over Melvin’s death to Tartar Sauce, as nothing is ‘right’ about any of it)

The wake ran from 2-5pm and then 7-9pm

In the two hour window, the entire family unit went to the ‘hotel’ for dinner.

This was my opportunity to squeeze in some celebrating and score some Tartar Sauce.

Which I clearly did.

It was nice to get the chance to have a conversation with Melvin’s brother, Keith during the meal about his relationship with his brother and his story of loss.
I found myself drawn to Melvin’s siblings throughout this entire process. I could relate to their grief on a more precise level, whereas
James and his sister Hannah were more aligned with Melvin’s daughters, having lost their father around their age, to cancer as well.

As for Tartar Sauce… sure. Mayo & relish mixed together is a – ok in my books.

 

 

 

Day 61 – March 2

March 2nd was National Banana Cream Pie and the first official day of my father in law, Melvin’s, wake.

I didn’t know how I was going to broach the subject of ‘celebrating everyday literally’ to a bunch of people who just lost their dad, husband, brother and neighbour.

Naturally I was apprehensive* about busting out my camera and photographing  a Banana Cream Pie while everyone was weeping and getting dressed to attend a wake.

*because I am not a narcissistic sociopath

It turned out I had some explaining to do about the pie in the first place, photographed or not.
It was an awful, store bought, fake ingredient, neon mess.


Melvin’s sister, Ellie, was the first to probe as to wtf I was doing with the pie.

I decided to go forth and I explain my blog concept.
She was tickled.
It turned out so was Jason, my step brother in law, Steve, my soon to be other step brother in law, and even Mila, Melvin’s eldest daughter.

There was no holds barred at this point, so I cut myself a slice, took a few photos and then a bite.

It tasted like the banana penicillin that plagued my childhood.

Ellie said she’d have some.

I went to plate a slice for her when she said “no no no, you’re not going to eat all that, I’ll help” and with that had a bite right out of mine.

Then Jason did as well.

 

He even went as far as to ‘hand model’ for me.

Then Steve.

Then Mila!

It was nice to not have to face the suffering alone*.

*tad dramatic given the nature of all participant’s current loss

Thank you everyone, for ‘taking one for the team’ 😉

When we were done eating the awful communal pie, we got ready and headed to the first night of waking Melvin.

 

Day 59 – February 28th

So, as well all know, Air Canada is run by a bunch of useless dirt bags.
They never got back to me first nor last about allowing Duncan on the flight, so I assumed it was a no go having not received the necessary statement from them to prove he is allowed on board.

Luckily, once again, I have the greatest support system in the world and my friend Meg eagerly agreed to take care of Duncan while I was gone.

Of course when I got to the god damn airport, they had in their system that I was flying with my Emotional Support Animal and I totally could have brought him.

What fucking wankers.

My flight heading back to Newfoundland for Melvin’s funeral left at midnight making it officially February 28th and National Sleep in Public Day 

This year’s Sleeping in Public Day  was brought to you by Clonazepam

I faded in and out of conciousness the whole flight to Montreal, as well as the flight from Montreal to St John’s. I even managed to squeeze in a snooze on my layover. I certainly celebrated the shit out of this one.

Also super fun about February 28th is that it is National Rare Disease Day!

This is fantastic because rare diseases have claimed the lives of the people that mattered most to me in the world!!!
And it worked out great for my blog, because not only have I been in immense pain and darkness because of rare diseases such as Choriocarcinoma that took my sister, and one could easily say I’ve been celebrating two years and five months strong, but I now have a dear friend having intensive surgery on this day because of his rare disease!!

That’s right! My friend Ian had to have a Gastrectomy today!!! On his birthday!!!!!


He had a gastro intestinal stromal tumour in his duodenum!!!!
On top of that he was a carrier for the CDH-1 gene mutation that killed my husband’s father!
So hey hey ho ho Ian’s stomach just had to go… just did my sister in law’s and several cousin in laws! And Ian’s mother’s!

Here’s how that looks  afterwards:

Read more about how wonderful rare diseases and Ian are here !

Read more about my sister’s rare disease and untimely death herehere, here, hereherehere, and here!

Or if you’d rather not read about upsetting stuff, check out my sister’s Twitter feed in which  she was blissfully unaware she of her impending doom here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 57 – February 26

Fucking Pistachio Day

 

Beautiful photos –  heartbreaking day

Today was the day I officially outlived my sister. Two weeks after my 32nd birthday.

Today was the day my sweet and kind father in law peacefully passed away after his 9  week cancer diagnosis.

Today was the day I bought a 9$ bag of pistachios, diced them up and sprinkled them on chocolate covered bananas and photographed them for a blog about celebrating life. Sarah and Melvin  had the same birthday… September 19th, and middle name, Francis. Life is funny.

Fucking Pistachio Day.