Day 66 – March 7th

National Cereal Day.

Cereal was a staple when I was a kid.
I remember pretty much living off the stuff.
I was particularly fond of Mini Wheats, Froot Loops, Hidden Treasures, Rice Krispies ‘Treats’ Edition and, later in my teens, Vector.
I really only remember eating cereal.
All the time.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner. And snacks.
It’s insane to think about it.

I can’t even really bring myself to look at the stuff now.

This particular Cereal Day started out  like any other, with a brief begging of Herman to let me hold him in my arms like his baby brother Duncan.
This fell on deaf ears, despite Herman’s fully capacity to hear, unlike his brother Duncan.

Next I got to spend some time with my twin nephews, Sarah’s children, Grant & Ellis.

They told me all about their new Nerf guns and the rules (not shooting where the arrow will get lost, no shooting at things that will break and no shooting at people).

They played with a train set and we must have read about 20 books.

Here’s a photo Ellis took of Grant:

So talented.

Their sister Rowan is in Kindergarten, so I will have to wait for the weekend to see her.

I had lunch with a friend (Hi Hillary!) and then went to Fixed coffee shop on Duckworth, where I furiously typed out the entire history of Prostitenant.

Albeit a cathartic experience, it was exhausting. I ended up doing nothing other than going to see Logan and forgetting to ‘celebrate’ cereal completely.

When we got home from the movie there was a package from my little sister on my porch.

I looked inside and discovered THREE BOXES OF RICE KRISPIES TREATS CEREAL! It was magical – EXACTLY at the moment I realized I had spent nearly an entire day writing about whore-ible tenants instead of ‘celebrating’, I was blessed with a whack of cereal. It was like a sign from the cosmos!

Thanks Alive Sister Claire! You saved the day!!

It tasted to exactly as I remembered it!



Day 65 – March 6th

National Oreo Cookie Day was the first day back in our real home after the Prostitenent vacated it (having spent our time since National Pig Day in Dunville, Melvin’s hometown and where all the services for him were held).

It was a bloody, fucking state.

No one in their right minds would have given her back her damage deposit in full. Lucky for her, we were not in our right minds. Well played, sociopathic hooker, well played.

A brief rundown of what we could have and should have deducted:

  • The extra day – she should have been out Feb 28, not March  1 at 3:38pm
  • Cleaning – baseboards and mouldings were filthy, toilet uncleaned, surfaces, floors, windows, oven was untouched.
  • Melted candle wax all over mantle and mirror
  • Tear in Ralph Lauren sofa
  • Holes in living room wall and upper hallway wall
  • Major long dent and paint chipping in bedroom – whole wall needs to be repainted
  • Towels and linens are now all orange, presumably from spray tan
  • Front door needs to be repainted because of wreath hook she stuck on
  • Broken irreplaceable vintage lamps
  • Paint damage to spindles
  • Missing back door key – lock now needs to be replaced considering the nature of her profession and the company kept
  • Throw cushions from couch left on lawn furniture all fall and winter
  • Coffee maker pot smashed
  • Dog shit all over backyard

Left behind, in the house she insisted was immaculate and thoroughly gone through, were:

  • a CK duffle bag full of raunchy bikinis and tacky purses
  • a new with tags Aldo clutch still in it’s cellophane
  • a bag of plastic nozzle thingies (?) presumably for her make up business
  • a framed professional photo of her grandparents house with an inscription on the back from her parents (she will be in touch about this – bet my life on it)
  • a souvenir carved wooden mask…with glitter
  • lawn chair
  • condoms (stored in lounge) {just grateful she’s not procreating}
    N.B :
    The Prostitenant also ‘returned’ additional cut copies of the key to the front door which operates on a 4 digit code. She was fanatical about changing the code when she moved in but never did and also never learnt it (further explanation here) .
    This is a person too damn stupid to memorize 4 number code and would rather drive to a lock smith and pay the 3$ to get a key cut instead to give to her pimp/boyfriend (or call me 11 times in the middle of the night for it  ).

I went for lunch with my friend Allyson and vented non stop about how bullied I felt and weak I feel for letting her treat us the way she did.
I should never have answered the phone and left it at “Landlords have 15 days to return damage deposits – we are at a wake -have some respect” and turned both our phones off.

There is nothing that can be done about the past… if there was, I sure as hell wouldn’t  waste the opportunity to time travel on her.

Back to Oreos.

Allyson graciously drove me to a store to buy Oreos and bleach to disinfect every square inch of our whore house.  I bought Double Stuff and Extra Strength, respectively. Thanks Allyson!

When I got home at probably close to 4 pm, Herman was still in bed. This was no surprise.

I was panged with guilt for all the times Duncan was able to reap the benefits of my celebratory projects and Herman was left behind in Newfoundland, neglected.


So I gave the poor old fellow an Oreo. Happy Oreo Day, Hermie, hope it doesn’t kill you!

I also made an Inukshuk

And ate a couple myself, while dressed a lot like an Oreo

And then did my usual staging

I consider this a day well celebrated indeed.




Day 62 1/2 – March 4

March 4th is Marching Music Day, National Grammar Day, & National Pound Cake Day.

However,  I misread my holiday source page and thought the day was International Irish Whiskey Day, which turns out to be March 3rd in actuality. Unfortunately  I put all energy and limited time that I had this day to getting some Irish Whiskey and not into any of the other options.

So I am going to consider this a ‘cheat day’, as they call it in the fitness business, and just go with it.

This was the day of Melvin’s funeral and burial.

We donned Boston Bruin pins for the ceremony and powered through the brutally cold and windy day.

After the reception, we went back to Melvin’s house- it was time to ‘celebrate’.

Jameson Irish Whiskey is as good as any so that’s what we picked up

I’m not one for drinking liquor straight, but made an attempt on the rocks.

James drinks it neat on the regular

Ellie, Melvin’s sister, joined in on the libation celebration.
She did, however, miscalculate how much was left in the bottle and ‘flattened it’. She had the genius idea of using some ginger ale to dilute it down.


Cheers to Melvin, you were dearly loved and are deeply missed.


Day 61 – March 2

March 2nd was National Banana Cream Pie and the first official day of my father in law, Melvin’s, wake.

I didn’t know how I was going to broach the subject of ‘celebrating everyday literally’ to a bunch of people who just lost their dad, husband, brother and neighbour.

Naturally I was apprehensive* about busting out my camera and photographing  a Banana Cream Pie while everyone was weeping and getting dressed to attend a wake.

*because I am not a narcissistic sociopath

It turned out I had some explaining to do about the pie in the first place, photographed or not.
It was an awful, store bought, fake ingredient, neon mess.

Melvin’s sister, Ellie, was the first to probe as to wtf I was doing with the pie.

I decided to go forth and I explain my blog concept.
She was tickled.
It turned out so was Jason, my step brother in law, Steve, my soon to be other step brother in law, and even Mila, Melvin’s eldest daughter.

There was no holds barred at this point, so I cut myself a slice, took a few photos and then a bite.

It tasted like the banana penicillin that plagued my childhood.

Ellie said she’d have some.

I went to plate a slice for her when she said “no no no, you’re not going to eat all that, I’ll help” and with that had a bite right out of mine.

Then Jason did as well.


He even went as far as to ‘hand model’ for me.

Then Steve.

Then Mila!

It was nice to not have to face the suffering alone*.

*tad dramatic given the nature of all participant’s current loss

Thank you everyone, for ‘taking one for the team’ 😉

When we were done eating the awful communal pie, we got ready and headed to the first night of waking Melvin.


Day 57 – February 26

Fucking Pistachio Day


Beautiful photos –  heartbreaking day

Today was the day I officially outlived my sister. Two weeks after my 32nd birthday.

Today was the day my sweet and kind father in law peacefully passed away after his 9  week cancer diagnosis.

Today was the day I bought a 9$ bag of pistachios, diced them up and sprinkled them on chocolate covered bananas and photographed them for a blog about celebrating life. Sarah and Melvin  had the same birthday… September 19th, and middle name, Francis. Life is funny.

Fucking Pistachio Day.




Day 55 – February 24

Day 55

I had a meeting with a rehabilitation facility for men with addictions this morning. It was interesting. I will likely be doing a therapy practicum there in the not so distant future.

After that meeting went relatively well, as in I effectively convinced the coordinator I was a smart and capable human being  😉  I spoke with James about how Melvin is doing. I’ve been avoiding discussing his condition in the blogosphere because the news has been up and down but never actually good and best left untyped.
It seems though, today, it will be a matter of days before he succumbs to his situation. My heart is absolutely broken.

I had so many things (i.e.: school assignments, blog posts, dog walks, gym, groceries etc) to do before heading to work this evening, but I was overcome with the crushing weight of depression. I sat holding Duncan for what was probably close to two hours.

It is World Bartender Day. Which I am. A Bartender and soon to be Art Therapist for Alcoholics.  A pretty stiff dichotomy there…

So the best I could do to celebrate was to  show up to work at my scheduled time and make drinks, even though I want to collapse in heap.

Here’s a throw back to bartending in Ecuador when I was young and everyone that mattered was alive and well  and everything was a good time

Day 54 – February 23

Well well well, if it isn’t National Dog Biscuit &  Banana Bread Day

This was another miraculous day in terms of accomplishment. I had to be at the elementary school till 3pm, then home for a quick dog walk, some celebrations and outfit change and then off to work till forever ever.

I knew this day was one Duncan was looking forward to and I didn’t want to let him down. He’s been a key player in making my Instagram cute and me not following through with driving off a bridge whenever the compulsion hits me.  I thought about making dog biscuits from scratch for the first time ever but, well, time.

So, instead,  when I got home from my practicum placement, I leashed up Duncan and went for a  stroll to Tisol – a pet store in our hood that would fit the bill for scoring treats. But, boy, was my wallet in for a treat.

It was FREE SAMPLE DAY! They had this huge table full of treats and paper baggies so you could stock up.

I made two passes like an absolute skeet.

Here I am loading Duncan up, in store, while I filled the baggie

I couldn’t believe no one was stopping me or at the very least harassing me to buy something.

Look at my haul! Duncan liked them all but puked up the vegan alligator dental bone. He’s an avid puker and I knew it was going to happen the moment I put it in his mouth. Oh well.

Then we went to VIVA Fine Foods just ‘down the hill’ from our house. I’d seen a sign boasting the best Banana Bread in Vancouver.

“Best” was in a jagged squiggle balloon so I knew it had to be legit.

There was no where to tie Duncan on because someone else had their dog tied up and I was scared that dog may have been aggressive so I scooped Duncan up and carried him for my super brief in-store transaction (“One banana bread to go please” *Tap* Done.)

But the owner was super pissed and told me I couldn’t bring him in. I assume she was the owner because I can’t imagine giving a shit first nor last as a minimum wage employee.

The guy that served me sneakily handed me THREE MORE DOG BISCUITS in  the way I imagine a good German person would have handed a Jewish person something to eat during the Holocaust. Yes, having a French Bulldog is exactly like being Anne Frank.

Anyway if I had a Yelp account I would have went on there to clarify that they have the OKAYEST Banana Bread in the city. .. put THAT in your jagged squiggle balloon and smoke it.

Nevertheless, it took a mean photo*

*More to do with my living room lighting and skill as a photographer than their baking or customer service skills

Day 53 – February 22

Day 53  was a loaded day indeed – World Yoga Day, National Cook A Sweet Potato Day & National Margarita Day!

These are some of my favourite things so I felt obliged to celebrate them all- despite having a full day of school (which involved a presentation on resistance in adolescents in therapy), and my Wednesday night volunteering session at a centre for people with disabilities in the evening.

Although I feel like I swear too much and hate too many people to be a true ‘yogi’, I do practice regularly and believe full heartedly in it’s extensive benefits.

I did a time lapse video for Instagram , which did not do the extent at which I held Crow Pose justice at. all.  But alas, it’s up there on the internet now forever.

Here is me rushing to get into dancers pose in the three seconds MacBook photo booth gives you before taking the photo.

All the while I was shaking my asana for the internet, I had a tiny sweet potato (or yam ? ) in the oven.

Duncan and I ate this up with some greek yogurt and cilantro.

It was great to have this ‘base’ in my stomach before I hit the neighbourhood taco bar, Luck Taco, for my favourite drink – MARGARITA!!

Myself and a couple friends had an assortment – the greenest one was called Pineapple Inferno and involved tequila, jalapeño and pineapple juice. The pink one was called the Electric Flamingo and contained white tequila, strawberry juice and basil. I had the pale one – a standard El Clasico margarita – no salted rim though, not fussy about those.

Knocked a few of these back as well as some of their cauliflower tacos and Modela Especials. I got quite a buzz on but had to restrain myself because tomorrow was going to be the longest day of my life – full day at the elementary school and then full night working at the bar.



Day 52 – February 21

Sticky Bun Day!

What is a sticky bun, you may ask? Couldn’t tell you. However when I searched “Best Sticky Bun in Vancouver” Grounds for Coffee appeared to be #1 . When I got there all they served was cinnamon buns. So I am going to presume that sticky buns and cinnamon buns are one and the same.

It was a beautiful sunny day and Kathleen and I took Duncan for a walk all the way to Point Grey to this Mecca of Sticky Buns.  I bought a four pack because that was some sort of deal. They slathered on the cream cheese frosting and put them in a biodegradable box and off we went back to my apartment.  I put on the kettle to French Press some coffee and Kathleen and I (and Duncan, to a degree) indulged in these delicious ‘sticky buns’. Boy were they sticky.

I ate one and a half and then got one of my glucose induced highs where my vision sort of blurs and I get really tired. I’m convinced I’m spectrum diabetic. The rest of the day was a blur.





Day 51- February 20

Day 51 = Love Your Pet Day & Muffin Day!

Those are two things I can easily celebrate.

I had special permission to bring Duncan to school with me today which made it possible for me to love Duncan all day long!
The director of the program thought he was a pig which wasn’t that crazy a mistake if you’ve ever heard him make his oink-like sounds. He made his rounds sitting on everyone’s laps and brought everyone lots of joy and snorts.

I missed old Herm today – I love him so much too, he’s just not as personable or as portable as his younger brother Dunc.

This is Herman when he was just a little puppy – we had him about one day at this point. So cute.

When I got home from school, I got to work on my go-to muffin recipe. It’s really simple, paleo friendly and I know it by heart!!

You will need:

  • 2 bananas mashed
  • 3 eggs
  • 3/4 cup peanut butter
  • 1/2 cup maple syrup
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla
  • 3/4 cup chocolate chips
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • dash of salt
  • teaspoon of cinnamon

mixed all of it together, distribute into muffin pan then bake at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes and viola, muffins.

Ate a few of these and got to work on the 5000 assignments I have due all at once next week.

Tomorrow! Sticky Bun Day! Wahoo!