Day 33 – February 2nd

So today was National Heavenly Hash Day and Groundhog Day.

I discovered, through one of my newfound Instagram friends, that it was also National Crepe Day so I decided to go with that ( I had ice cream yesterday with the Baked Alaska and I was dreading eating more. And, well, Groundhog Day has been done… over and over …and over  😉 )

Thursdays I go to an elementary school and therapize a bunch of kids. It was an exceptional day on that front- made some breakthroughs with these little people. But when the last bell rang for the day, it was time to get down to serious business.

There is a cafe about three blocks from my house called Crepe Cafe. It doesn’t allow dogs despite having a water bowl inside and several large French bulldog statues on display (above left)

So after ordering a Nutella Strawberry Banana crepe (is there even any other kind?) I was swiftly kicked out for bringing Duncan inside by the teenage crepe master who looked remarkably like the lead singer of  the most aggravating band in world, Mariana’s Trench

So Duncan and I dined outside thanks to that guy … and food safety

I was sort of expecting that getting a crepe at a place that’s called Crepe Cafe was going to send me into the next crepe dimension

It didn’t

Duncan is still honing his Jedi mind tricks

As I ate that unremarkable crepe, I felt really depressed. It is sad ‘celebrating’ every day alone with your dog …who isn’t even allowed in most places (I wasn’t gonna pull out my Emotional Support Animal letter for Mariana’s Trench back there). I have a nice big house and an amazing husband and a whole other cute dog on the other side of the country and here I am eating crepes, alone outside, for blog content. The whole point of a marriage is to celebrate life together. I had a bit of an crepe induced existential melt down, dear readers, I must admit.

This photo really captures the doleful sentiment of crepe day

I went back to my apartment and pacified myself by watching The Thin Blue Line… well part of it. I got really agitated part way though with the hill billy accents and the repeated referencing of the defence attorney as ‘the lady lawyer’,  so I ended it early to put myself out of misery

YAY Crepe Day!

 

 

Day 32 – February 1st

 

February 1st marks the beginning of a whole new month of celebrations!

National Get Up Day,  National Freedom DayNational Baked Alaska Day & National Serpent Day!

National Get Up Day has something to do with skating, but I decided to interpret it to mean ‘get up’. Which I did, first thing.

Now National Freedom Day is an American holiday celebrating that time Abe Lincoln (my birthday twinsie) outlawed slavery. Thank goodness for that. It is also the start of Black History Month. Check out Donald’s latest speech to learn alllll about what it’s like to be black : Absolutely riveting

Now, for all you fine folk who think Canadians only claim to shame was our complete mistreatment of our indigenous peoples (genocide, residential schools, bum land trades, forced sterilization, germicide, etc), boy are you in for a treat!

We indeed had slaves! Mind you, Wikipedia likes to call the amount of African slavery “insignificant” (and then quickly point out that the native nations enslaved each other).

So the idea is that if it isn’t that many, it doesn’t really count.  We get to be holier than thou towards our American neighbours forever because we didn’t use as many. I’m just beaming with Canadian pride over here.

I read all about it here

They faced the same shit and some even fled to the freed states in America from Canada.

Found this – so sweet, having a clearance sale because he’s heading back to the motherland…

In French and English, all Canadian-like!

So that’s how I celebrated American Freedom Day, by taking the time to learn about Canada’s true history using Google.

That brings us to National Baked Alaska Day !

I was really looking forward to this one because I have never had it before and was completely mystified.

Baked Alaska is cake or crust, ice cream and meringue. It all goes in the oven at some point and the ice cream doesn’t melt, by the grace of god, I presume.

So I did a graham crust, baked that. Then layered on the ice cream. I froze the ice cream and crust together then got to work on the meringue.

I combined 3 egg whites, a dash of salt, a dash of cream of tartar and about 1/3 cup of sugar and got to whipping. I don’t have a stand or hand mixer so it was all ‘elbow grease’ as they say, which is just a revolting idiom for ‘hard fucking manual labour’. So I whipped and whipped and whipped. And whipped. And whipped.

I can’t believe I hand whipped meringue. Holy fuck. I feel like I could win Chopped now… Chopped Canada at the very least. When I got my ‘soft peaks’, I layered the meringue mixture over the ice cream layer, sprinkled some additional graham crumbs on top

Then I put it in the over under the broiler for about 5 minutes

Magic

It was pretty good

The ice cream was completely melted so I guess that wasn’t quite right.

It was also quite substantial. I had no one to share it with and it’s not a dessert that ‘keeps’ so I had to let Duncan in on the action.

But I had to be careful – he’s a puker…

Oh and it was Serpent Day but idgaf. I hate snakes ever since everyone attacked Taylor by flooding her Instagram with the snake emoji that time Kim released the secret recording of Taylor agreeing to some of the lyrics in Kanye’s song but not the lyrics she was upset about (“I made that bitch famous”) (… which is sooo not true, for the record, get over yourself Kanye) (she made you famous, if anything, give me a break) so it proved nothing but Kim fans are all total losers and need to get lives and ruined Instagram completely for like 2 weeks. So rude.

#teamtaylor

Just kidding – I hate teams- I think everyone should win

Join me tomorrow for more ice cream- National Heavenly Hash Day… as well as  Ground hog day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 30 – January 30th

Creeping to the end of the first full month of celebrating.

January 30th is National Croissant Day & National Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day.

These are two pretty straightforward things to celebrate… or so I thought.

I fucking love croissants so I have been eagerly awaiting this day for a long time now.  I had school for the majority of the day so I was crawling out of my skin to get out of there to go get some croissants.

I originally envisioned getting an almond croissant from Platform 7, on the corner of Vine & Broadway. I had one before and it was easily one of the best things I have ever eaten. But I was told by a friend of a croissant connoisseur that Beaucoup Bakery on Fir Street makes THE best croissants. I figured I would give it a whirl seeing as how it would be a new experience and it isn’t far from my school.

CLOSED MONDAYS.
FUCK SAKES.

So I head back home, leash up Duncan and go back to Plan A, which is now Plan B I suppose- Platform 7. I tie up little Duncan outside and go in to nab me a croissant or two.

SOLD OUT.
FUCK OFF.

The barista was apologetic but also enchanted by the fact that I knew it was National Croissant Day and had come specifically to get a croissant for such reason. I should get business cards printed.

I untied Duncan and decided to head down Broadway towards Point Grey area. There are lots of bakeries and cafes that way. There is a cafe that looks like a cozy cottage I’ve been meaning to check out. Benny’s…Bagels. No croissants.

NONE AT ALL.
ROTTED.

A little further down Broadway there is a French patisserie with some sort of swanky man name. We headed for it. Thomas Haas. Reeeal swanky man name.

CLOSED MONDAYS.

I don’t know how much more I can take. I think – there’s a Terra Breads and a Cobb’s Breads right by my apartment. I devise a plan to head back and if they don’t have any I’ll buy some Pilsbury doughboy crescent rolls at the grocery store and give up.

Terra Breads didn’t appear to have any from what I could see through the window and there was no where nearby to tie up Duncan (except where he could run into traffic -he likes chasing cars) to go in to investigate the matter further.

So I trudged on to Cobb’s Bread

CROISSANTS!

I could see them from the street. I tied Duncan to a tree and went in. They were sold out of plain ones but they still had spinach & feta ones as well as chocolate. I got one of each – dinner and dessert.

I was really hungry at this stage and deliberating eating something more ‘sensible’ first. But after a brief photo shoot became ravenous and there was no time for ‘sensible’. I ate them back to back. They were mediocre at best.

Once the hunger beast was satiated, I was able to focus on the next item on the celebratory check list – bubble wrap. I had hoarded some pieces of bubble wrap in a kitchen drawer in preparation of this day.

I popped a few individually and did a few twists -popping several at once. Duncan wanted to help. Such a dear.

 

And just like that *pop* pop*, the day was all celebrated up.

Oh and I also made a new Instagram friend who makes pins of all the daily holidays !! I was over the moon about this and ordered a few for February

They can be purchased here : http://www.buttonspinzandthingz.com/

So awesome. There are some discrepancies of the days but I really like that Paul Bunyan Day is my birthday and not Plum Pudding Day as my original source declared.

I can’t wait to get them and to order more as the month progresses!

Tomorrow : National Inspire you Heart With Art Day & National Backwards Day!

 

Day 29 – January 29th

Wow. The month is winding down. I have been celebrating for 29 days straight. Who knew I would find such a rhythm in random celebrations?

The 29th is National Puzzle Day and National Corn Chip Day.

This day was sort of weird. I awoke with a (not-entirely) inexplicable sense of dread. It was grey out but not raining. I just couldn’t make myself take Duncan for a proper walk, or go to the gym. I really just moped around, doing nothing, accomplishing nothing. I was trying to rally myself to get it together, get some school work done, get a walk in, do some laundry, the like, but just completely and utterly failing at it. Even Duncan was sensing it.

Then I got an email that I feel on some psychic level I was anticipating – one of my clients died. For those of you, dear readers, who haven’t ever had to receive the news of someone you care about dying, let me explain how it feels. Physically, it is exactly how vampires that get killed by Sarah Michelle Gellar’s Buffy die.
It’s a blunt stabbing pain in the heart, followed immediately by a puff-like falling apart sensation.
A visual in montage form can be seen here if you weren’t a Buffy fan

After the poof/falling to pieces part, on this particular death notice, I took a deep breath and said aloud, “…better get to that puzzle for National Puzzle Day

And with that I did. I had arranged for my friend Kathleen to come over later in the day to film a time lapse video for me but I couldn’t wait. I had to get straight to work ‘celebrating’ to keep my sanity. With the help of a stack of books and some magic healing gem stones (rose quartz & citrine, fyi), I MacGyver’d a stand for my lousy iPhone 5 to have an aerial view of my puzzle making table.

The puzzle was one of Diablocertops. I had ignorantly thought they were triceratops upon purchasing – an homage to Sarah, her favourite dinosaur. Fucked that one up, huh?

So here I am Getting shit done

And this is the completed project

It was hard because
a) I was emotionally fucked up
b) I didn’t look at the box often enough for fear of ‘ruining’ the aesthetic of my (shitty iPhone 5) stop motion video …  so dumb

It was great to have something constructive to do in a moment like that. The blog is proving to be a marvellous coping tool in times of duress. Maybe I will be able to weasel my way into using this blog as my final project for art therapy school somehow.

The metaphor within piecing together a puzzle was mighty as well. You really just have to take it one piece at a time. There are no shortcuts. It is a jumbled up mess you have to sort out using a simple method- starting with the edges, and perseverance… and the box for guidance.

So National Corn Chip Day was next on the agenda.

I wasn’t anticipating this one to be a chore to celebrate, considering nachos are my favourite food and the corn chip an integral part of that dish. The bad news dampened my enthusiasm.

But I had a beer. I went and bought some chips. I put em in a bowl. I made some guacamole. I staged a photo shoot while I still had lighting.

I got it done.  I ate some guac. I persevered.

Photos to prove it.

Day 28 – January 28th

National Blueberry Pancake Day!

And National Data Security Day!

And Have Fun At Work Day!

Pancakes. Where do I start with my memories of pancakes. I’m pretty certain it is the first food I learned to make on my own. At the early age of 9-ish, I decided hotter is better when cooking and always used “max” setting. This meant that I always achieved a nice char on my pancakes… and everything else I cooked. I still have ‘heat’ issues today.  Hotter = Faster and so, well, things get burnt.

I remember one night making chocolate chip pancakes for my sisters for supper. It was the first time our parents had left us alone with no baby sitter- they had a night course or meeting or something. That night, in the midst of cremating a bunch of pancakes, I felt some drops of water on my head. I looked up and there was water dripping from the ceiling. More than dripping, basically streaming. So, because Sarah was ‘in charge’ I went and got her, thereby making it her problem. She reacted by getting the. smallest. pot. in. the. world. out of the cabinet. I mean, this pot might have been able to hold one egg, tops, and put it under the drip/pour.

Claire, my younger sister, and I laughed our heads off because she clearly needed a much larger pot considering the amount of water flowing out. Just as she was saying, “Shut up guys, what’s so funny” there was a large cracking sound and the whole ceiling gave away.

The kitchen was flooding. Claire and I  were all shrieking and laughing, mostly scared, partially amused. Sarah was upset- pretty concerned her role of overlord would be revoked (it was). We ran through the house – water was sprinkling out of every nail hole in all the walls and out through moldings.

Our neighbours dad came over and ran around the house, the water was about shin deep at this stage. I remember the stairs to the basement, which was off of the kitchen, looked like a water fall, and he had to use the railing to propel himself over the entire staircase.

And then I don’t really remember much else about that night. I know mom and dad were pissed – classic misdirection of their own guilt for leaving us unsupervised (I’m pretty much a therapist now so, I get it). I also remember the explanation. On the third floor of the house there had been a bathroom but it got renovated out. Some pipe that lead to a bathtub hadn’t been shut off properly and so water had been leaking from this and building up in the walls and between floors for potentially years. Finally it just busted its way out at the most inconvenient time. The second floor bathroom was flooded too… water everywhere. It was crazy.

Pretty much anytime I make pancakes, which is more or less never these days, I think of that night. I suppose it was traumatic in a lot of ways.

So here I was on this particular National Blueberry Pancake Day, recalling the time our house was gushing full of water, and Sarah putting a pot the size of a tea cup out to stop it. Classic Sarah.

In my youth I just used packaged pancake mix- the kind you just add water to. But in my adulthood, I’m above that nonsense. I figured pancake mix is comprised of flour, (almond) milk, eggs, baking powder, salt, sugar?

And I was more or less right. I added some cooking lavender my friend Carleigh gifted me, a few drops of essential lavender oil, and blueberries it was all systems go.

I (low) heated the pan with coconut oil and flipped away.

They were really great. I was very pleased with myself for
a) deciding to use lavender like a fancy foodie type
b) not burning the shit out of them (I have photos to prove it!)

Duncan thought they were delicious!

Then, to sort of celebrate National Data Security Day, I watched Snowden

Man that guy from Third Rock from The Sun can act.

Well, I suppose. He spoke and behaved like a completely different person (presumably Edward Snowden). I know he has a three name name and that shit drives me crazy. But yeah, I usually think I could be an actor until I see this kind of stuff – when someone can do an entire voice and way of speaking and mannerisms, etc. Way to guy, buddy. Great in Third Rock too.

Whats-her-face Shaighann something or other was in it too. I’m not fussy. Although I hear she’s going great things with regards to Standing Rock protests.  I’ll tip my hat.

So through this movie I learned that I have been justifiably covering my web cam with a post it for the past few years! Other than that I was not surprised whatsoever with the insider information revealed and thought all this was common knowledge. Too bad he had to throw it all away to get the word out and literally nothing has changed.

Then to wind it all down with National Have Fun At Work Day, I drank a beer while typing out this blog posting ! This is kind of my job these days. Yahoo?

 

 

Day 27 – January 27th

Another day, another chance to eat some junk food in the name of blog content.

National Chocolate Cake Day & National Big Wig Day pair just beautifully together, if I do say so myself.

Christina and I have a collection of wigs that we bust out from time to time. For example this time, when I met BADDIE WINKLE OMG STILL CAN’T BELIEVE IT AMAZING OMG I’M STILL LITERALLY DEAD OMG

The wigs were last used a couple weeks ago and were left behind at our friend Kelly’s house. As inconvenient as this should have been, it worked out great because today was Kelly’s birthday! So I was able to bring her a mini chocolate birthday cake when I went over to nab them,  all under the guise of being a really nice person.. I can’t believe they fell for it…

I don’t have a mixer and all the baking projects for this blog have taken way too much physical exertion without one so I opted for a store bought cake. Sue me.

They were photogenic AND delicious. Get you a cake who can do both.

 

As you may have noticed from all the photos, there were indeed two cakes.

I ate mine at home alone with an assortment of wigs on

And, well, that’s pretty much the extent of it

Join me tomorrow for National Data Privacy Day ( I may actually put a password on my phone!! And change all my passwords from MarkLeah1 to something like MHjjj1*7sjic1hdfi1NklSDf1) (… but probably not ), Blueberry Pancake Day, Have Fun at Work Day, Kazoo Day and Seed Swap Day!

Odds are blueberry pancakes are the only things on the horizon, but who knows?

 

 

 

 

Day 25 – January 25th

National Irish Coffee & Opposite Day!

Wednesdays are long days for me. I have school all day and then I have a practicum placement in the evening. Christina was off in the wilderness snowboarding so Duncan would have had to spent the majority of the day alone. However Kathleen volunteered to take him for a walk and check out the nude beach! He was in his glee! So with that stress of my shoulders I was able to commit to celebrating around my school obligations.

I gotta be honest. I was looking into how to make vegan Baileys and it seemed like a lot of work… especially considering I still would hate having an Irish coffee even if it was dairy free. So I opted to merge the two celebrations this day and decided to have the Opposite of Irish Coffee!

What a great out!

So instead of drinking a boozy, milky, sugary, energizing Irish coffee I had a soothing, healthy, animal puss free, calming Chinese tea.

Best idea yet.

This particular tea was a present from Elliot. I love green teas.

I used my Wonder Woman mug and really cherished the serenity the moment offered.

Tomorrow : National Green Juice and Spouses Day !

Day 23 – January 23rd

The day started with a simple Google Map search using the key word “Pie” (being National Pie Day and all)

Its results lead me down my very street- a 26 minute walk- to Aphrodite’s Cafe. They did not disappoint

I gladly let them help me with the pies.

They had all kinds – strawberry rhubarb, pecan, blueberry, mushroom, quiche, regular banana cream, cherry…

The barista brought out two slabs- one pumpkin one chocolate banana cream, and some black coffees.

I was with Duncan and Kathleen and we were able to sit outside on this lovely January day (not a thing that is possible back in St. John’s)

Duncan tried very hard to use The Force to get some pie into his smooshed face.

“I’m one with The Force. The Force is with me. I’m one with The Force. The Force is with me.”

The pies were tremendous. Well, the pumpkin one was a little mushy and borderline savoury. It could have used some whipped cream or ice cream or something of that nature. The chocolate banana cream pie was divine. Fresh bananas, real chocolate, rich yet fluffy mousse… perfection. They came garnished with some hearts made out of cinnamon. Delightful.

We polished off the two slices & coffees and then headed home where I wasted the rest of the afternoon creeping people I don’t know whatsoever on Facebook ( yes, I have it back at the present moment). A great time was had by all.

Join me tomorrow for the day I have been looking forward to the most NATIONAL BEER CAN APPRECIATION DAY!!!

 

Day 22 – January 22nd

All this celebrating has been hard to keep up with lately…. too much of a good thing?

January 22nd was National Blonde Brownie Day.

It’s basically a white, chocolate-less, unimpressive brownie.  It’s pretty much like replacing Obama with Trump in so many ways. I really don’t grasp it as something you would want to do to a country let alone a brownie.

Alas I made them anyway.

It involved:

  • 3/4 cup of butter
  • 1 1/2 cup of brown sugar
  • 2 tablespoons of vanilla
  • 1 tablespoon of baking powder
  • 2 1/2 cups of flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon of salt
  • white chocolate chips

Bake for about 30 minutes at 350.

I wouldn’t say they were as tasteless as Donald, but they certainly weren’t as rich. Sad.

 

Making these mediocre dessert bars, watching Team Foxcatcher and then Foxcatcher (fucking rich old white men are fucking insane not eccentric – Robert Durst, Donald, etc, can we just learn this soon, please??) while it rained buckets outside  was pretty much all I did this particular day.

If a blogger bakes white power brownies alone in her house with her deaf dog, is it really a celebration?

Thought to ponder

Tomorrow – National Pie Day! National Handwriting Day!

Yippee Skippee

 

 

Day 21 – January 21st

Today was the ‘Women’s March on Washington’. We partook in Vancouver

Duncan was very enthusiastic about lending his voice to the movement

He was wildly popular and made many friends

 

His favourite part was when we all stopped to give the Trump building the middle finger

When we were done dismantling the patriarchy, we went home to make granola bars for National Granola Bar Day

This was achieved through the union of

  • a bunch of oats
  • a bunch of dates (blended)
  • a bunch of maple syrup
  • a bunch of peanut butter
  • a bunch of hemp hearts
  • a few chocolate chips
  • a few cashews

in a warm sauce pan.

This gets the peanut butter to work with you. Then mush it down into a pan and let cool. When ready, cut into bar-like-shapes.

It was also Squirrel Appreciation Day & National Hugging Day.

While there were no squirrels to be found, Duncan gave hugs to pretty much anyone who would lower themselves to his level.

We both gave really heart felt hugs to Christina and Daniel when we dropped them at the airport later that night. I hate hugging, btw, but I did it for the cause. It wasn’t so bad but I’ll stick to Duncan cuddles.

Tomorrow is National Blonde Brownie Day !